The Home Invasion?

Preface

I know this piece may seem darker than past material I have written. I am usually an optimistic individual who tries to see the best in situations. However, there is bad in the world that needs to have light shown on it because it should be fought against and stopped entirely. A little over a year ago, I attended a lecture that discussed the meaning of consent. I went with my friend, Krista Apardian who you may know from one of my blog interviews. All I  knew about this lecture was Planned Parenthood hosted it. I wanted to support the organization and I thought this would be useful. Unsurprisingly, it was! I found myself not being the best at asking for consent when I am interested in someone. For example, when it came to hand holding, touching, and kissing I was not very vocal about asking if I could proceed. Thanks to that lecture, I find myself way better at checking with my partner. Anyways, there was an analogy that stuck with me during the lesson. The woman who was leading the discussion explained how law enforcement tend to victim-blame sexual assault survivors. This shows when police ask women or men questions about the assault case. She related to how a sexual assault case should be handled similarly to a house break-in/robbery. It was as if a light bulb went off in the whole room. That analogy made so much sense, something was physically and morally taken away from you. The security and confidence of your property was stripped from you. You obviously WERE NOT ASKING to be robbed, or in this case assaulted. That idea made so much sense to me. Until, she asked a volunteer to come up so she can show the difference between interrogation for house robbery and sexual assault. Let’s just say the example didn’t quiet live up to the potential. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a great lecture and I would encourage everyone to attend it. I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Shit, they could’ve done so much more with this.’ Therefore, I wrote what I wish they said during their example of what a house robbery interrogation would sound like if it was handled like a sexual assault report. Trust me I could’ve kept going, but if any of you have any other add-ons or think I missed anything important, please feel free to comment below!

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Home Invasion?

“Miss, were you under the influence the night he robbed you of all your riches and peace of mind?”
“Miss, is your house decorated in any provocative exterior that could attract a robber to steal from the inside that is rightfully yours?”
“Miss, are you sure there wasn’t any prior interactions with the thief that could’ve led him to think you wanted your treasures to be wrongfully taken by him?”
“Miss, you said you sometimes keep your backdoor unlocked, are you sure that didn’t insinuate you wanted the home intruder to break in?”
“Miss, was the face of your house and roof made-up to encourage him to violently force his way inside?”
“Miss, were the blossoms of your flower beds showing? Trust me, this is important to know for this form of crime.”
“Miss, when you saw him and interacted with him, at any point, did you give him consent to enter your home?”
“You said you had a few glasses of wine before he broke into your home, are you sure your memory isn’t skewed from the alcoholic consumption? You know you didn’t confuse anything with your interaction from being a little intoxicated?”
“Do you think maybe the way your house is painted is a little showy, and maybe that’s why it happened?”
“”Miss, did you actually use words similar to ‘No, I do not want you to rob me.’?”
“Well, if you didn’t use those words, how did you tell the intruder you did not consent for him to come inside? Did you physically show you didn’t want him to rob you? What did you do physically to show you didn’t want him inside your house?”
“Miss, are you sure you made it obvious to him you didn’t want him inside your house?”
“Alright miss, well you’re free to go back to your home and we will hopefully get back to you soon about your police report.”
“Don’t forget to lock all your doors and be more thoughtful on how your home looks to others, especially at night when you’re alone.”

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Community College is Over, and Summer is Here!

I officially finished Orange Coast Community College. This place has taught me so much about my major, general education, and myself. I remember the first time I ever set foot on the campus, I was given a tour led by a former OCC Women’s Tennis player. My high school tennis partner and I were recruited to play for the team. I joined community college because it was the best option I had for an education at the time, and I wanted a second chance at my college education. I got accepted to a few good universities, but none that really peaked my interest. Furthermore, I gained so much more from going to a community college than I ever thought was possible. Without OCC, I would never have been able to get into UCLA. Especially in their Communication department.

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If you are in high school, in a university that you hate, a single parent who wants a different career path, a veteran who wants to return to school, or anybody who wants to just find what they want out of life, GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE. It will hopefully change your life for the better, like it did for me. The best part, you can be involved as little or as much as possible there. For those who are in community college and are having trouble making friends, join a program or club. While I was at OCC I was part of the Women’s Tennis Team, the Honors Program, DSPS, Sigma Chi Eta Communication Honors Society, Honors Student Council, Speech and Debate Team, and Green Coast Day Committee. I met so many people and made great connections that I know will have for the rest of my life. Those people have inspired and motivated me to become a better student and better individual. You want to plan a community wide event? You are totally capable of doing that with lots of help if you have a club or student government backing you! For example, I was able to host campus wide events such as Why We Love OCC and Green Coast Expo, which I will always proudly boast about due to their successes. Financially struggling? Community colleges are known for offering financial aid and even handing out their own scholarships that you can look into! Have kids? Community college will probably have resources where you can drop off your kids until you’re done with classes. It’s pretty amazing.

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Now that I have finished singing my praises for community college, specifically Orange Coast College, it is time to move on to bigger and better things. Summer. You are a true blessing in my life. I am finishing this blog post in England. I will get into more details of my trip once it is done, but I hope my readers are enjoying their summer as much as I am already. Just wanted to write this blog post to share my appreciation for my community college since those institutes don’t receive the love they deserve,  and wanted to keep you guys updated that more posts are coming once again 🙂 .

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In the meantime, here’s a photo of a flock of geese that all were eerily staring at something…. We still don’t know what they were looking at.

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Tune her thoughts

She sat across the couch from him as he tuned the guitar while sitting on the stool. She let herself sink into the couch as she hugged her legs draped by her maxi skirt. She used to wear this skirt a lot when she was a carefree spirit, only looking to get high in a secret garden with a chocolate shake in hand. However, she felt more on edge than what this skirt usually entails. She felt uncomfortable. Around the guy who usually puts her mind at ease. He started to strum the guitar, and one of the strings sounded off to her. He played with the guitar pick until he suddenly stuck it in his mouth to use his hands instead. She asked, “is it just me or does one of the strings sound off?” He finally looked up at her, holding her gaze with his green eyes. With his hand he strummed the guitar and it sounded superb. He smiled biting the guitar pick still, “it’s just you, babe.” She honestly smiled, and let go of her captive legs to lay them on top of his lap as he continued to fill the room with music.

i love you most.

a few weeks ago,  three interactions made me realize something.

the first one, my boyfriend.

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i was leaving his place to go eat dinner with my family. this relationship is probably the most mature one i’ve had yet. i have a key to his place, i have a toothbrush there, and some pieces of clothes lying around. my home away from home. not only was our union random, but the way it started shoudn’t have been that easy for us. and we definitely should’ve been more cautious going into it. but we weren’t, and everything happened so organically and nothing felt rushed at all. our big foundation was we had plenty of time, when rushing was always my biggest worry due to past problems. and he completely understood. we have fun doing the most basic things, from watching Drake and Josh on the couch to grocery shopping at Sprouts. there’s never a dull moment. anyways,  he walked me to my car and he held my hand until we got to my vehicle. i turned away from Hermia (yes, that is my car’s name, in honor of Midsummer Night’s Dream) and looked up at my big friendly giant boyfriend to be kissed quickly by him, “got ya!” stealing kisses is his specialty, so are silly voices. he tells me to have fun and he’ll see me soon. as he walks away i say love you. he responds i love you more. i shout back i love you most. he shakes his head side to side as he yells back No!

the second one, my mom.

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i was leaving the restaurant where i met up with my mom and dad. we ate Persian food, the culture my dad descends from and I am half of. we had a lovely time trying this new hole in a wall, to the point where we plan on having this be our new place. they had tender steak kabobs, perfectly cooked rice, and the spices mixed well to satisfy any foodie. my dad left early to go on a walk, while my mom and i stayed behind for some hot tea. we talked about her tennis match and the rest of my day. it was peaceful and comfortable. of course, a few jokes and teasing were added to make light of the mood. i am known as my mom’s twin, clone, the blondes. whatever fits the day, i am always paired with my mom. and who wouldn’t like to be? i love my mom. thus, when we parted ways to our cars i started to holler at her i love you. she responded i love you more. i curiously shouted back i love you most. she laughed as she responded No!

the third one, my best friend

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i was driving back to my boyfriend’s because I accidentally left my textbook behind. i decide to call my best friend who now goes to school up north. we met through our college tennis team and we were inseparable. we went through a period where we carpooled together to school, even though she and i lived a huge gap of time away. that’s when we bonded the most. we lip synched to songs we showed each other, with too many of them being claimed as our songs. when she left, it was hard for us both. phone calls remained our consistent connection, and we would talk long enough that the distance didn’t matter. all that mattered was we were still there for each other, no matter what. to bring this all back, she answered and we fell into our old habits of jokes then telling each other what we did today. i pulled up to my boyfriend’s house and told her i had to go. i sadly said i love you. she insisted i love you more. i confidently confirmed i love you most. she giggled and shouted from my phone’s speaker NOPE!

why am i sharing this? because, there are points in life where you feel unloved or alone. i have definitely felt like that in my life. at this point however, i have created strong relationships with people i am truly grateful for. i have felt in the past people taking advantage of my compassion, and when they would say they loved me, i knew it didn’t compare to how much i cared for them. i have cut those people out of my life and others should too. it does get hard because those emotional drainers realize how important you were to feed their idea of themselves, so they’ll say/do anything to keep you near. if that is the case, watch out for yourself and stay strong. because one day, you will find yourself surrounded by people who live closely by your moral compass. and another day will come, when your wholehearted love will be met with theirs evenly.