23 & A Quarter

Who knew UCLA would kick my ass to the point where I would be off the grid for so long. However, the work was all so worth it. Did I have a handful of panic attacks? Of course, it’s a given at this school. Do I love it? ABSOLUTELY.

Although so many things have happened, I sometimes forget to acknowledge how mentally challenging its been. My first quarter at UCLA. Seeing kids mentally breakdown publicly with no shame. Losing my ID card and wallet multiple times, then bolting back  to find them. Thinking somehow being late to class would get me pushed out of my spot. Having no clue what a course reader was, and having to figure out where they were sold (there’s this sketchy shop in Westwood that sells them and I have no clue how it’s even part of the school). Figuring out what a Discussion was, and they’re essential to your already long lectures. Filling out a bunch of random forms so you don’t get frozen from enrollment on certain dates, on top of your schoolwork. Discovering that athletic events are hard to attend when you’re trying to get good grades. Discovering living life in general is hard when you’re trying to get good grades. I remember, there were so many points I actually felt trapped. Even thinking about UCLA made me sick to my stomach.

I know what you’re thinking, “You’re being over dramatic, Kat.” That’s the thing ain’t it? Nobody really knows until they experience it themselves. I attend one of the best schools in the world. I should be grateful, and obviously I am, but there’s a huge difference between admiring the school from afar, and being a student there. It’s tough. Then, add the pressure of the prestige and high expectations. It can be suffocating.

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So, what happened? Well, I made the best of my situation. UCLA is beautiful. Even when there were days where I wanted to punch the school’s face (if it had one), it was beautiful inside and out. I remember when I was walking out of class after a tense conversation with my professor (he wouldn’t let me retake a quiz and I was pissed) and I was thinking the most negative things about the university. Then, the sun started to set near the Powell library. Guys. It’s like cotton candy and fluffy Dole whip decided to magically float and dance together in the sky. And the fountain in front of the stairs, where that view of the sunset was the best, began to glisten with pinks and blues from lights installed. The buildings and halls looked more like beautiful castles than classrooms for students. No matter what mood I was in, I couldn’t help but think how beautiful and lucky I am to be here. Or the sculpture garden. Nothing beats listening to music through your headphones, strolling within this sanctuary of unique pieces, and finding a spot in the grass to lie on. Time moves so slowly, and your troubles melt away.

Until, you get up and grind again. Midterms, finals, and projects are hard but not impossible. If there’s any transfers reading this, it’s hard to be a freshman trapped in a junior’s body. Make your life easier your first quarter. Take easier classes because it’s gonna be hard still. It’s ok to only focus on school your first quarter. If you have to work though, less school work is essential (bruinwalk.com is your best friend, it’s the same thing as ratemyprofessor.com so find those nice professors). Having trouble making friends? Go to the Bruin Transfer Center or even Holly (on-campus housing for transfers). They’ll have events where you can mingle with your fellow transfers (trust me, my solid group of friends happened because I did this). You will get through it, and you will make friends soon.

Finish one quarter, and you’ll feel so much better as a student. Also, you’ll know what you can and can’t handle (adding more classes, starting an internship, volunteering, going to sporting events, etc.). You know how much you should read, you know how you should study, and everything starts to fall into place like it did in community college (or at least that’s what my case was, every transfer has their own background).

So guys, I am 23 as of last week and have finished my first quarter at UCLA. I’ll share more stories soon, until then, talk to you later.

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“How It Ends” Review

Hey guys! Here’s my first film review! I am so excited to dive into this part of my blog, so lets get to it.

Disclaimer: There maybe spoilers so if you plan on watching this film (which I believe you would be saving lots of time if you avoided it at all costs), you have been warned.

How It Ends is about this couple who plan on getting married while a baby is already on the way. Will (the boyfriend, Theo James) flies to Chicago to ask his girlfriend’s dad, Tom (Forest Whitaker) to bless the marriage proposal. You realize Tom and Will have a strong dislike for each other. Conflict arises at dinner when Tom criticizes Will’s profession, financial stability, and lack of consideration towards Sara (the girlfriend and daughter, Kat Graham) moving out of state. Will loses his temper and gets escorted out by Tom’s wife. The following morning, Sara calls Will to confront him about what happened at dinner, when a strange noise booms from her end of the line. She expresses something is wrong as the phone glitches and ends the call. Will heads to the airport to discover all flights are cancelled, the power is out across the country, and the government is remaining silent about what is happening. Will returns to Tom’s home to be informed that whatever is happening is more catastrophic than the government is leading on. Tom is going to drive all the way to Seattle to save Sara and asks Will to come with him. The journey consists of natural and human survival dangers, and a few new characters introduced to keep the story interesting. I won’t reveal what happens in the end in case some of you want to watch it, but here are my thoughts on it.

It was shit. I understand this is supposed to be a fictionalized story of the end, but if you are going to involve global warming to be the cause, have some research and science fueling it. This is a constant issue in the storytelling, laziness. For example, there’s a scene where a city is left in ruins, yet a message that is written in pen on the door remained after a fucking volcano eruption. How did that note remain on the door when everything was destroyed from the natural disaster? HOW DID THE WRITING REMAIN ON THE DOOR AFTER A TSUNAMI OR WHATEVER OCCURRED? It was just an easy escape for the writer to move the story along. On top of that, they introduced such pointless characters that had no contribution to the plot. They annoyed the audience and they would disappear. It left you wondering why they were there in the first place. At that point, they should’ve kept the story simple by having Will and Tom facing the dangers by themselves. Their struggle to find the person they love could’ve been a better story, and probably would offer the movie opportunities to fix plot holes of how/why the world was ending. Unfortunately, Will and Tom seem to magically bond by the end of the film. Will gains a bad-ass attitude with skills in driving and fighting that he definitely didn’t have before. Tom breaks his ribs, yet his many years in the Marine Corps didn’t teach him how to take care of himself and his injuries. What confirmed that the movie was shit, was the ending. If I knew ‘how it ends’, I would’ve never watched it.

How dare you Netflix get rid of us seeing what the ratings are, and instead show how much of a match this film was for me to view. I KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO SAY IT’S A STRONG MATCH FOR ME, IT WAS A FILM YOU PRODUCED. Anyways, I will give this film a rating of how it “actually matched” me.

Actual Match Percentage: 10 %

Why 10%? Because the only good thing about this film was the cinematography. If you are interested in cool and clever shots, with some impressive visuals, this film is for you. However, if the whole film matters, do not see it. If the film’s story was as good as the cinematography, it would be decent.

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The Home Invasion?

Preface

I know this piece may seem darker than past material I have written. I am usually an optimistic individual who tries to see the best in situations. However, there is bad in the world that needs to have light shown on it because it should be fought against and stopped entirely. A little over a year ago, I attended a lecture that discussed the meaning of consent. I went with my friend, Krista Apardian who you may know from one of my blog interviews. All I  knew about this lecture was Planned Parenthood hosted it. I wanted to support the organization and I thought this would be useful. Unsurprisingly, it was! I found myself not being the best at asking for consent when I am interested in someone. For example, when it came to hand holding, touching, and kissing I was not very vocal about asking if I could proceed. Thanks to that lecture, I find myself way better at checking with my partner. Anyways, there was an analogy that stuck with me during the lesson. The woman who was leading the discussion explained how law enforcement tend to victim-blame sexual assault survivors. This shows when police ask women or men questions about the assault case. She related to how a sexual assault case should be handled similarly to a house break-in/robbery. It was as if a light bulb went off in the whole room. That analogy made so much sense, something was physically and morally taken away from you. The security and confidence of your property was stripped from you. You obviously WERE NOT ASKING to be robbed, or in this case assaulted. That idea made so much sense to me. Until, she asked a volunteer to come up so she can show the difference between interrogation for house robbery and sexual assault. Let’s just say the example didn’t quiet live up to the potential. Don’t get me wrong, it was still a great lecture and I would encourage everyone to attend it. I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Shit, they could’ve done so much more with this.’ Therefore, I wrote what I wish they said during their example of what a house robbery interrogation would sound like if it was handled like a sexual assault report. Trust me I could’ve kept going, but if any of you have any other add-ons or think I missed anything important, please feel free to comment below!

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Home Invasion?

“Miss, were you under the influence the night he robbed you of all your riches and peace of mind?”
“Miss, is your house decorated in any provocative exterior that could attract a robber to steal from the inside that is rightfully yours?”
“Miss, are you sure there wasn’t any prior interactions with the thief that could’ve led him to think you wanted your treasures to be wrongfully taken by him?”
“Miss, you said you sometimes keep your backdoor unlocked, are you sure that didn’t insinuate you wanted the home intruder to break in?”
“Miss, was the face of your house and roof made-up to encourage him to violently force his way inside?”
“Miss, were the blossoms of your flower beds showing? Trust me, this is important to know for this form of crime.”
“Miss, when you saw him and interacted with him, at any point, did you give him consent to enter your home?”
“You said you had a few glasses of wine before he broke into your home, are you sure your memory isn’t skewed from the alcoholic consumption? You know you didn’t confuse anything with your interaction from being a little intoxicated?”
“Do you think maybe the way your house is painted is a little showy, and maybe that’s why it happened?”
“”Miss, did you actually use words similar to ‘No, I do not want you to rob me.’?”
“Well, if you didn’t use those words, how did you tell the intruder you did not consent for him to come inside? Did you physically show you didn’t want him to rob you? What did you do physically to show you didn’t want him inside your house?”
“Miss, are you sure you made it obvious to him you didn’t want him inside your house?”
“Alright miss, well you’re free to go back to your home and we will hopefully get back to you soon about your police report.”
“Don’t forget to lock all your doors and be more thoughtful on how your home looks to others, especially at night when you’re alone.”

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Tune her thoughts

She sat across the couch from him as he tuned the guitar while sitting on the stool. She let herself sink into the couch as she hugged her legs draped by her maxi skirt. She used to wear this skirt a lot when she was a carefree spirit, only looking to get high in a secret garden with a chocolate shake in hand. However, she felt more on edge than what this skirt usually entails. She felt uncomfortable. Around the guy who usually puts her mind at ease. He started to strum the guitar, and one of the strings sounded off to her. He played with the guitar pick until he suddenly stuck it in his mouth to use his hands instead. She asked, “is it just me or does one of the strings sound off?” He finally looked up at her, holding her gaze with his green eyes. With his hand he strummed the guitar and it sounded superb. He smiled biting the guitar pick still, “it’s just you, babe.” She honestly smiled, and let go of her captive legs to lay them on top of his lap as he continued to fill the room with music.